“Spank Me Silly: Sadomasochism And The Modern Woman”

Article by The Huntress vs. The Headline (Blog) /
April 24, 2012 /
Click here to view original /

Well, hello, out there!

Oh, how I have missed my little platform of self indulgent thought and fantastic headlines! It has been so many months since I updated, but truth is I have been hideously unwell; unwell enough that I haven’t even been able to undertake my daily perusal of news and headlines for the last five months and am only just starting to recover. I have just started reading news again, I have no clue what has been going on in the world, however sometimes a headline is so worthy that it just can’t be ignored. I apologise for any random gibbering, I am yet to become fully functional in thought.

But it is the thought that counts, right?

So, if I’m going to do this, I ought to do it properly and present some awards for the top three terrible headlines of the day (Oh, how I have NOT missed ye!). The bronze award goes to PerthNow for “Cowell Had Sex 11 Times In One Night” – which incidently makes me wonder if it was that entertaining if one was counting? The silver award goes to AdelaideNow’s “Stomp In The Name Of Love” and the gold medal of the day goes to News.com.au for “Harry Goes Nuts After Ban On Blondes”.

I still maintain that brunette’s are superior. *Ahem*

Sooo, moving on to today’s headline, which caught my jaundiced eye, not only for its interest, but the articles brilliance. I once again defer to the wonderful Lauren Rosewarne, who I do ever so look up to (Maybe I can become a career writer feminist too, now that I need a new career, but I doubt I could ever have such pizazz), to discuss a subject that I am not so secretly passionate about – women and their sexuality.

I am not ashamed to say that I own a well thumbed copy of “Story of O” or a couple of Anais Nin’s works. I do not live in London so I cannot attend a spanking workshop or Japanese rope bondage class held in the Coco de Mer parlours, though I have happily browsed their bondage section; mainly because I love leather and there are some seriously gorgeous creations available. I enjoyed ‘Secretary’, however I have not read “Fifty Shades of Grey”, though I have read the supposedly dirty bits, which read a bit like a silky soft version of “Story of O”. A bit lacking in power and passion for my taste, but hey some people like the vanilla version. I’m more of a dark chocolate kind of girl.

All in all the common theme is sado-masochism and modern women, as today’s headline suggests. It is being argued that as women now hold higher ranking roles and positions of power in our society, compared to 50 years ago, there is also an increasing popular demand by women for BDSM in the bedroom. The theory being that men, who traditionally have held the balance of power in boadrooms and bedrooms, have been more inclined to pay for the submissive spanking that affords them the sexual thrill that they otherwise lack in their lives. As women have started to obtain similar power in business and bed, they too have started looking for the excitement of sexual surrender and obedience.

If it’s good for the goose, then it’s good for the gander, no?

But it also has to be asked if the rise in demand for bondage, domination and sado-masochism is due to genuine interest, or marketing and pop culture. Are women asking for a spanking doing so because it feels dirty and heightens the pleasure or because advertising states kinky sex is better sex, which in turn means a better, more fulfilled life than the people who live next door? Are we being pushed into believing that everyone else is having better sex (driving a more prestigious car, wearing more covetable labels or drinking rarer wines) and therefore we must rush out and purchase the slickest toys, the sexiest kinky boots, the most hardcore porn? Which all in all is someone elses vision of hot sex – the marketer who is creating pop culture.

As Ms. Rosewarne notes that for every woman out there participating in the heady rush of every ‘thwack!’, there is one participating because she has been sold the idea her partner will stray if she’s not the hottest, spiciest lay. There are people who genuinely love the dirt, the sweat and the thrill of BDSM and more power to them, but it cannot be ignored that advertisers of pop culture have played a role in the rise of interest in such activities. I couldn’t possibly give numbers or percentages over who would rather have ‘O’s’ experience or ‘Anastasia’s’ experience in “50 Shades of Grey” (but perhaps the Kinsey Institute could?). Both fantasies have similarities, but are yet unique to each other, just like individual women, but neither fantasy is going to provide a “better” life if it’s not really what you want in the bedroom.

What I really want, in and out of the bedroom, is these shoes…

And in a few weeks they’re going to be mine! All mine!!! Ah, who needs BDSM when you can have Louboutins?